We all know this feeling. The "I'm actually going to put myself OUT there" feeling. So, I'm taking the plunge. I would like some feedback. But I'll be honest enough to request no BRUTAL honesty. :P Honesty, yes, but, really, "constructive criticism" or anything else would be great. Writing is therapeutic for me, but I've never been one to consider myself a star in anything. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble. hehehe
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Child’s Play
It’s just a game
A child’s game, really
Feather boa---bright pink
Over-sized shades sliiiiiiiiiding off the nose
Throw in a 10-gallon straw hat
Maybe a mu mu, just for good measure
Oh, and don’t forget the high heels that flop and slap with every step
A child’s game: Dress up
Let’s pretend, for just one moment
Let’s play, escape for a while
For what is reality, but our perspective?
The view from inside
my head
is real
to me
It’s just a game,
A desperate game, really
Hide the darkness crashing loudly against the shores of absolute reality
Mask the evil thoughts that claw at sanity
Over-sized smile, brighter than Christmas morning
Throw in cheerful chatter, just for good measure
Maybe some witty humor
Oh, and don’t forget the peaceful calm
A desperate game: Dress up.
Let’s pretend, for just one moment...
The question remains:
When the games are over
When the masks crumble
When “pretend” disintegrates into pathetic pieces of truth…
which is actually truth?
What’s behind the mask is real.
But the mask is real, too…
Is it a mask?
That question remains
Always
Let’s play.
Comments
I'm happy to leave my comments on this one. You've got some very powerful imagery here and Ilike the way it leads up fromt eh first stanza which sounds innocently like child's play to the mid way point which poinst out what dress up can be hiding in adults. I especially liked:
Hide the darkness crashing loudly against the shores of absolute reality
Mask the evil thoughts that claw at sanity
Over-sized smile, brighter than Christmas morning
Throw in cheerful chatter, just for good measure
This is a poem you'll wan tot keep revisiting, to tweak and tighten a bit here and there, so it has even more impact and definitely submit it to a poetry contest. It's a great metaphor.