po2hb3r

Child's Play

Comments

I'm happy to leave my comments on this one. You've got some very powerful imagery here and Ilike the way it leads up fromt eh first stanza which sounds innocently like child's play to the mid way point which poinst out what dress up can be hiding in adults. I especially liked:

Hide the darkness crashing loudly against the shores of absolute reality

Mask the evil thoughts that claw at sanity

Over-sized smile, brighter than Christmas morning

Throw in cheerful chatter, just for good measure

This is a poem you'll wan tot keep revisiting, to tweak and tighten a bit here and there, so it has even more impact and definitely submit it to a poetry contest. It's a great metaphor.

Thank you for your comments on my poem. I typically write on impulse, needing to explore or release a particular thought or feeling THAT INSTANT. Then I go back later (sometimes much later) and start really tweaking things since I can see what I have written from a different perspective, not being emotionally overtaken as I am when I put the original words down. So I will definitely take your advice and continue to come back for tweaking every once in a while. Thank you again!
That's the way the best poetry builds IMHO. This poem is a good one, truly.

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